Have you ever felt that EVERYBODY else had the secret and if you could just buy that one supplement or gadget, it would “fix” you? That if you could just figure out what they are doing, then you could be slim and happy, too?
I used to think like that. Instead of shrinking under that mindset and giving up I did something just as harmful – I got up earlier and worked harder. First, let me say outright that nothing in that last sentence works. Giving up never works. The “Do More” mentality doesn’t work. Neither does dieting harder, or more cardio, and doing more more more will just lead to burnout and quitting.
Also, it is important to know that nobody has “the secret” and if they tell you that this supplement will fix whatever is wrong, it probably won’t. I actually fell for that, too. I started with B-complex because “everybody KNOWS you need this” and then it was mineral this or that, then it was this special formula of something, a few herbals because they are from nature, and this tincture that you add to your water and then this special fat soluble whatever. Next thing I knew I had a handful of supplements. Expensive and seriously unnecessary. It is almost like an addiction. Instead of changing me from the inside out, I was looking for something outside to fix it all. Now I use very few supplements and they are targeted for me and my health.
I want you to know that it doesn’t have to be like that. You can achieve your goals, not get stuck on the hamster wheel of more supplements and more cardio and less food. That is just crazy talk in my opinion. You can be comfortable around food and eat like an adult and still get a healthy lean look. So if you are struggling with a restrictive mindset, feeling like who you are now is not enough, or you are constantly jumping from diet to new program to another gadget to fasting and yet another diet. . . and still stuck where you are, I’m guessing we need to work on mindset.
Now, YES, I can share with you some things you can do today that will help you get to your goals, but that won’t fix your mindset so you’ll likely end up right back where you started. Mindset matters especially now that we are older women. Without it in place, we will end up in the same sabotaging behaviors we had before. When we are 25, our bodies can bounce back from things so we had wiggle room to eat like a teenager and binge on pizza at 2 in the morning. We don’t have that luxury 40 years later. But you can jump to that info here. (I will link it as soon as I write it. Please check back)
Let me share a story: A lady I know who was trying to lose weight. She was in her 60s like me and cut her calories and started walking. That worked until it didn’t. So she started doing a jog/walk thing to increase the cardio. YAY, that broke the stall for about a week. Next she cut calories again. This pattern continued with more exercise and less food. So now she is doing a lot of cardio on very little fuel which is a HUGE stressor. I bet you can guess what happened next? Yep, her sleep became erratic and her hair was thinning. When I asked her to send me her food diary so I could see it, she was eating 800-1,000 calories a day. A 3 year old child needs around 1,000-1,200 calories a day. I’m pretty sure a grown adult needs more. In fact, consuming such a low number of calories can lead to nutritional deficiencies, hair loss, looking haggard, fatigue, decreased immunity, plus loss of muscle which is something we do not want to do. At the very least, eat to preserve muscle tissue.
Now, this lady claims she never binges. When I tried to reduce calories for too long there was always a breaking point where I’d eat the whole package of nuts or have an extra whatever and end up doubling or tripling my calories in a short period of time and that bingeing episode could last a few days. Restricting like that can lead to binge behavior. Here and here are articles that discuss it. And here is an article on self-sabotage. .
Now let me clarify…. there is nothing wrong with going to the BBQ and having some extra ribs at the party and enjoying a piece of Aunt Becky’s famous strawberry rhubarb pie with homemade ice cream. What I’m talking about is buying that coconut cake at the bakery and eating it by yourself at home alone. Or snarfing down fast food in the car on the way home and then hiding the wrappers. Enjoying yourself at a social situation now and then is a healthy thing to do. Binge behavior is destructive and usually followed by shame, guilt and punishment. If you do this, you know.
You can break out of that pattern. I did. There are so many 60+ women who do not restrict their food, eat a lot of nutrient dense foods fueling their bodies in a way that stops the cravings and stops the restriction and bingeing. Yes, it is possible to eat well, protect your muscle and not be struggling. You deserve to feel good in your skin.
I wrote a guide about it and it is available here. It is called Lifestyle choices: Escaping the grip of a restrictive mindset and on sale for $22.97. It is several lessons on ways to set up your life so that you have guardrails in place to protect yourself as you make this change. It also gives actionable steps of things you can do today to get started. I strongly urge journaling because we all need to know why we are doing what we are doing. Seriously, we cannot correct what we don’t know about.
Let’s be real…. It isn’t always easy, and it won’t be a straight line from here to there. But it is doable with a bit of help, and SO worth it. You are worth it!
Disclaimer: Linda is not a medical doctor or a healthcare provider. She is a woman who has been through the trenches and is sharing things she has learned and things she wished she had known when she worked to get her health back! Please consult with a licensed provider before making any dietary changes or with any personal health questions you have. Nothing in these pages or in anything Linda shares is to be construed as medical advice.
